


Goodbye

by raisedinthunder



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, LeviHan Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 05:09:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21386608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raisedinthunder/pseuds/raisedinthunder
Summary: Hange deals with the aftermath of losing Erwin
Relationships: Hange Zoë/Levi
Series: Tumblr Drabbles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1541764
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This hurt to write not gonna lie. 
> 
> From LeviHan Week 2017 (day 6 - grief)

The door stood ominously in front of her. Daring her to enter. How long she stood there staring at the faded wood of the door she wasn’t sure. It felt like an eternity and an instant all at once. The corridor was quiet. What she wouldn’t give for someone to walk by and distract her from the door. To pull her away from the inevitable. But no one came. Only the close silence that seemed to smother her.

She took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

Levi was already in there. Leaning almost casually against the window sill. Arms crossed tightly over his chest and head bowed low. She hesitated in the doorway for second before resolutely stepping inside and closing the door behind her. The small snap of the door closing sounded like gunshot through the quiet room.

It was a small room. Modestly decorated with only a small dresser, empty bookcase, chair and the bed. The bed upon which he lay. A chair was placed beside the bed. It seemed to call to her. She forced her feet to move. The three steps it took to cross the room seemed to take an age. It was like time was moving at a glacial pace. She reached the chair. Another deep breath and she sank down onto it.

Erwin’s body lay on the bed. Wrapped neatly in a blanket. Her heart ached at the sight. They’d been together through so much. Now he was gone. She gripped her hands together tightly. Her heart thundered in her chest. The aftermath had been a whirlwind. She barely remember what happened. The rooftop. The basement. She had simply went on. Going through the motions. Forcing herself to be the strong leader she needed to be. That Erwin had entrusted her to be. That’s what she was now. Commander. The thought terrified her. The times before she’d had Erwin there. Always ready to take back his mantle. Not anymore. It was down to her now.

A wave of nausea passed through her. The pressure and grief mounting. How was she supposed to go on? How were they to make it through this?

How?

She reached out. Gripping the blanket that wrapped her commander, her friend. Erwin had been there in the beginning. They’d trained together. He’d been one of the few who didn’t just see her a crazy person. Who took her ideas seriously. Who took her seriously. Her chest felt tight. He was gone. Actually gone. Somehow he’d always survived. Until now. Everyone she cared about seemed to be falling around her. Would they keep falling? Would everyone fall until she was the last one?

Alone.

‘Hange.’ Levi’s voice was soft. His small but firm hand resting on her shoulder. She hadn’t even realised she was crying. Her face streaked with tears. The hand she had gripped the blanket with was balled so tightly her knuckles had gone white. She felt Levi’s hand on top of her. Rough calloused fingers closing around hers. She let the tears fall.

'I’m sorry. I’m sorry I did this.’ Levi said. He voice was rough as though it was hard to get those words out. Hange didn’t look at him.

Her mind flickered back to the rooftop. The choice. Erwin had been the obvious choice. Their commander. Their friend. The one who had led them through all of this.

'I should have gave the serum to him.’ Levi added.

'No. You did the right thing.’ Hange said at last.

'How can you say that? I fucked up. Again. I should have, I should have…’ Levi cried pulling away. Hange looked up at him now.

'Levi.’ Hange said taking hold of his arm.

He stared down at her. A look of helplessness she had never thought she would ever see on his face.

'Levi listen to me.’ She said turning in her chair so she was facing him. 'This was what he would have wanted. It was the right choice. Erwin did everything he could and more for us. Armin is the future. He has what we need to get through this. I know on that rooftop I told you to give it Erwin but I was wrong. I wasn’t thinking straight.’

'But..’

'No buts. You did the right thing. Erwin went out that day knowing full well he wasn’t going to come back.’ Hange rubbed her uninjured eye. Clearing away the tears. She knew what she was saying was true.

'I don’t know what to do.’ Levi said quietly.

'You think I do?’ Hange replied with a hollow laugh.

Hange looked over at Erwin. He looked younger in death. The war had aged him greatly. His face always filled with grim determination now at ease. Peaceful at last.

Her grief was raw and unrelenting.

She felt Levi move in front of her. She turned to see him sinking to his knees. Resting his head on her lap.

Gently she brushed her fingers through his hair.

'It’s his fault I’m here.’ Levi said. 'Dragged me from the Underground for his stupid fucking plan. He made me believe in him. I’ve watched my friends die. My squad die. All for him. Now he’s dead too. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I should’ve been the one..’

'No.’ Hange said firmly cutting him off. Levi looked up at her with red rimmed eyes.

'Don’t say that.’ She said glaring down at him.

'I just…’

‘I don’t give a fuck. You’ve all I’ve got left. So don’t you dare say shit like that Levi Ackerman.’ Hange told him.

'I’m sorry.’ He mumbled back.

Levi reached up and ran his thumb under her eye, brushing away the tears which had began to fall again.

'It’s just us now. You and me. We’ve gotta look after those kids. See this through.“ Hange said with the same grim determination Erwin had once had..

'We will. I promise.’ Levi said. He hasn’t let go of her face. His thumb gently brushing over her cheekbone. She looked at him. Into those grey eyes that held so much pain and sorrow.

Levi looked over at Erwin then stood. Her face felt cold her he had let go. His hand now reached for hers. Taking it she pulled herself up.

With one last glance at Erwin they left. Leaving their grief in the room with him.

Levi led them down the dark hallway. They didn’t speak. There was nothing else to say.

Tomorrow they would say goodbye to Erwin and all the others that had fallen. Then they would brush themselves off and move on. Carry on the fight.

Hange looked down at where her hand was firmly grasped in Levi’s and knew they would make it through. As long as he was there to hold her hand.

**Author's Note:**

> As always you can find me on tumblr [here](http://raisedinthunder.tumblr.com)


End file.
